Baby kaboom

September 24, 2011

We have this joke that Dylan and his dad are electromagnetic. Streetlights have a habit of burning out when either of them passes by, and it’s even worse when you get the two of them together. Blown transformers. Block-wide blackouts.

I’m hypercharged too, or at least I used to be. I was born with an electrical disturbance in my heart–an extra circuit that kicked in at odd times and made my pulse gallop at 200+. When I was 18 I had a minimally invasive procedure that cured it. They threaded a catheter though my vein and essentially melted my mutant wiring away. Supposedly, it’s not genetic, but a few years ago we learned my mom needed the same procedure for the same reason.

I’ve heard the baby’s heartbeat several times now at the doctor’s office, and so far, everything’s fine. “Beautiful,” the doctor said.

But…

Since I’ve been gestating, three transformers have blown on my street, one of them while I was standing less than 100 feet away. Last month, my car battery died–the thing was less than two years old. A few days ago, I discovered that my external hard drive at home had gone kaput. And yesterday, my work computer took a dirt nap, too.

Clearly, there’s only one reasonable explanation: I am carrying a 1.21 gigawatt baby.

My very first inkling that I was pregnant happened while I was sitting at my desk at work. For no reason in particular–not coffee, not sugar, not stress–my heart fell into a crazy rhythm: Every third beat, it threw in an extra one, extra hard: ka-BOOOM! This odd syncopation came and went, came and went, over and over all day. It wasn’t racing; it was just… improvising.

In all my arrhythmia spells as a kid, I’d never encountered anything like this. I’m a worrier by nature, and this kind of episode had all the makings of a full-on Elaine freakout. But I wasn’t scared.

From my work as a science writer, I’ve learned that estrogen has a powerful effect on our circuitry; it’s thought to be the reason women are more prone to arrhythmia than men. So my immediate thought was not that I was relapsing, not that I was having a heart attack. I was calm–pleased, even–and certain that this was a sudden shock of estrogen. A lightning bolt of blastocyst. My little baby kaboom.

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Leap year baby!

September 1, 2011

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Without further ado, meet the DIY Mess’ new resident, slated for move-in at the end of February 2012!

This, of course, is why all the radio silence. For the longest time, I was detoxing from DIY fumes and dust, which ruled out pretty much every project on the agenda, and Dylan was too busy with his teaching load to work on the house. Then all the sudden, we were pregnant, and summer was in full swing. Dylan and our friend A. spent weeks on a new round of demo and construction, stirring up all sorts of smells that my hypersensitive nose didn’t agree with—just as the worst of the heat hit. So there’s been plenty to blog about this summer, but I’ve been too busy gagging and fanning myself to do it.

I had no idea how to explain my blogging hiatus. I wanted a family so bad I was scared to utter a word about it before I knew it was possible. But that’s all over now!

I will soon post photos of Dylan’s remarkable progress on the DIY Mess, which is looking less messy all the time. But for now, I need to shout from the rooftops about this kid growing inside me.

The first couple of ultrasound images came out all wavy because I couldn’t stop crying. We were both overwhelmed finally seeing for ourselves that there really is a lime-sized person in there, and it has arms and legs and a brain and a beating heart.

“I can’t believe how active it is,” Dylan said, watching our child wave and stretch and hiccup.

“Well, it is yours,” I said. “It’s probably bored in there.”

I mean honestly. Somebody give the kid a hammer.

The appointment was on the morning I hit week 12, which we’d decided ahead of time would be Tell The World Day. I was practically skipping down the hall, showing my coworkers the hazy, two-toned images of this little blob. It’s true, that’s about all you see in an ultrasound until it’s yours.

“Looks like an alien,” teased my carpoolmate. (Actually, she’d known for weeks—I’d figured I owed her and her upholstery fair warning that my stomach could blow at any minute.)

“Oh, I get it,” said the guy in the office next door when I pointed out the head, the arm, the teeny tiny little hand. “That’s why Dylan went on that long trip last month. Hehe.” (He was helping his parents with their renovation nightmares. Glutton for punishment, that boy.)

I’ve been scrawny all my life and was sure people would notice the second my navel started asserting itself. For weeks I’d been holding in my gut every time I got up from my desk at work, every time I waved hello to the neighbors. But when I tried telling people the news by showing them what I perceived to be my impressive profile, they were like, “What? Is something different?” Kinda flattering, I guess, but mostly disappointing. I’m gonna be a mom, and I want the world to know.

The neighborhood girls had my favorite reaction so far: tears and hugs and stories, stories, stories. “When I was pregnant, …” Someday I’ll tell stories like that, sitting on the steps of this home we made together, bouncing our little blob on my knee.

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Q&A with Karl Champley, Judge of “Grant’s Real Stories” DIY Contest

March 31, 2011
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Recently I was invited to help promote Grant’s Real Stories, a contest that’s right up my alley. Scotland-based whisky distillery William Grant & Sons is looking for DIYers of all stripes to share stories and photographs of projects that could stand the test of time. The prize is a $10,000 a home entertaining makeover (!). They [...]

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1920s Time Capsule: Part I

February 9, 2011
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Back when Dylan gutted the dining room in May 2008, he found a set of old pocket doors that have cleaned up beautifully–and they came with a little time capsule, to boot. Seems that ages ago, a crumpled wad of paper got caught on one of the doors and shoved back against the wall. As [...]

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It’s 2011 already?!

January 2, 2011
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Próspero año y felicidad, y’all! A very quick update: We are not dead. We’ve just been busy. And broke. Since we had to replace our heater last winter, we’ve been racing to pay if off before the interest kicked in. So. Apologies for the five months of radio silence. We just couldn’t afford to do a dang thing to [...]

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The grand entrance of our grand entrance

June 27, 2010

You may recall our fugly foyer, the unimpressive space that first welcomed us home in Spring 2008… … and the stairwell, all caked in layers of dull, cracking paint… … and how I heat-gunned and chemical’ed it until it was all a dried-up-boogery mess… … and how I scraped and sanded it all down until [...]

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The ten-feet high club

May 11, 2010
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At the altitude of ten feet, holding a giant metal ceiling tile overhead while balancing on a ladder with hubby, things can get pretty hot and heavy. And not in a good way. “Okay,” he says. “A little bit toward me. STOP! A little bit toward you. WAIT! Right there. Don’t move, okay? DON’T MOVE!” [...]

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Gimme shelter

March 7, 2010

I started a new job last week. Just as I was realizing I’d had it with freelance writing and was ready for a change, my dream job—an editing gig at my favorite local publication—opened up and welcomed me in. I can’t believe my luck. It’s funny. You’d think that living and working all this time [...]

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